@TheMichaelRock: I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she has a helmet with a flashlight on it, and a pick axe.
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@_troyjohnson: Historic moments in rap. Jay W [username taken] Jay X [username taken] Jay Y [username taken] Jay Z
@ericsshadow: I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a "ghost" and end up as a "drunk ghost that needs a ride home."
@djdarrellripley: Me: Hey, look, I can't stay long, I've got a cab downstairs. Her: You took a cab? Me: I'm gonna give it back!
@bidenandobama: Biden: Think about it like an investment opportunity. Obama: I'm not buying you an above ground pool, Joe.