@TheMichaelRock: I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she has a helmet with a flashlight on it, and a pick axe.
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@WilliamAder: I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who's going to eat them all anyway.
@geowizzacist: (Me playing guitar) 3: Daddy what's this song called? Me: Going Nowhere. 3: I know that but what's this song called? Burned by a 3yo.
@gwatts77: Facebook people don't like Twitter because they need picture illustrations to understand the joke.