@thenoahkinsey: I almost accused a 10 yr old of stealing my dance moves but it turns out he just really had to go to the bathroom & didn't know where it was
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
@theshamingofjay: If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters
@KentWGraham: You act like no one at work has ever asked you to apply ointment to a bunion before.