@Sarcasticsapien: I almost always wear black. Not because I'm depressed or trying to be all dark, but because I'm single and don't want to separate laundry.
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@le_buns: "would u like some dessert?" i ask the moose head above the fireplace "no thanks im stuffed" i reply, in a slightly deeper voice
@shita3yosays: Nice try "unknown" caller, but I don't answer when my family calls so what chance did you think you had?
@NickSchug: If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out "Marry me?" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples.
@sixfootcandy: Me: Christmas is nothing but corporate greed! Mom: Would you like some more gold leaf sugar sprinkled on your cocoa? Me: Yes please.