@Sarcasticsapien: I almost always wear black. Not because I'm depressed or trying to be all dark, but because I'm single and don't want to separate laundry.
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@chapel3929: There are exactly 2 options for headphone cord sizes: 1. Headphone users have torsos? 2. Giraffe strangler
@AKcrazy18: I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his Lil mind
@Kali_Mura: Me: Dark Lord, I am your devoted servant. Please accept this sacrifice as proof of my -- Satan: I have a girlfriend.
@BatBatshitcrazy: My ex mother in law once commented that she wished her son had stayed married to his first wife. Me too, I replied.