@Brentweets: I almost choken on food and the whole time it was happening I was just thinking "What a cliche way for a fat person to die of"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: *doctor looks up* I'm afraid you have forgetting about 80's bands disease "Oh god what's The Cure?" *doctor sighs* It's worse than I thought
@joejwest: [chess tournament] RIVAL: [plays move] ME: [knocks board aside. punches rival in face] Chess! COMMENTATOR: He's won every round this way
@IanDouglasTerry: Dude yelled "Fight me like a man" at me, so I held him down and marginalized him for a thousand years.