@CulturedRuffian: I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes.
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@Tw1tter_K1tten: Pretty cute that my husband wanted to role-play that I was his maid and then not break character for 14 years.
@mishakey: I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.
@SeanEmeny: I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me
@HenpeckedHal: Some say their relationship is built on trust. Others, friendship. Mine is built on an ancient Indian burial ground.