@Zombie_Kitv2: I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS.
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@deardilettante: Part of being a woman means you can break your leg or be having a cardiac arrest & a nurse will still ask when your last period was.
@paperphotoyo: When a man falls asleep next to me, I like to sniff his arm pit. Then he usually gets mad, I have to ride a different bus, it's a big mess.
@Michael1979: If you fear that a giraffe has killed your wife and stolen her identity, these are the signs to look out for:
@kelkulus: What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this!