@andreeahluscu: I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been "whoa there chap"
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@juneohara65: I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly.
@UncleDuke1969: "Remember those funny tweets about Keith? And, the Chad jokes? Haha! They were great! We should do those again. Right, guys? Guys?" - Karen
@Donna_McCoy: I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning.
@Tuna_Lover: Just spent $243.57 at the grocery store so the check out girl didn't think I was just buying KY and condoms.