@andreeahluscu: I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been "whoa there chap"
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@bergified: Send me your home address and I'll mail you a personal drawing of your favorite animal as long as its a buffalo.
@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.
@TheDailySchmuck: *makes third wish* Lastly, I want to be irresistible to women. [Transformed into really nice handbag] Dammit.
@LeviathanPride: Made a friend today. Well, I knocked on my window when a guy walked past my house. I'll name him Terry.