@DelilahSmashbox: I almost wish the guy I'm stalking would find me and call the cops. These bushes are scratchy and my legs are cramping.
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@TheToddWilliams: GOOD COP: Three robberies in the same neighborhood ...do you know what I'm thinking? PSYCHIC COP: Yes GOOD COP: Oh right
@BareChesty: You know your driving really sucks when your GPS says "After 300 yards, stop and let me out"
@juskewitch: If you're in a clown posse, you don't need to tell us you're insane. We know. Nobody's thinking you're an emotionally stable clown posse.