@Ty_Schutz: I always assume people with red cars were drunk when they went to the dealership.
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@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.
@the_paramedicK: *proposes to girlfriend* *accidentally drops ring in the street* "I'll still marry you" Sorry, I'm married to the streets now
@bobvulfov: [standing at the hospital nursery window with other new parents] ME: this zoo is terrible