@WritePlay: I always assumed the movie "Grease" got its title from how those characters managed to fit into those pants.
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@thatUPSdude: Forget "once you go black you never go back" I say "For that special occasion go caucasian"
@QwertyJones3: If you're in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
@Reverend_Scott: WIFE: Don't be scared of him. Tell your boss you quit. ME: Ok, I will. [later that day] ME: I quit BOSS: WHAT?? ME: I said, nice squid