@delusionaliam: I always carry a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say "I like your haircut", I can respond with, "Thanks, here, have some."
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@figgled: Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta
@jake_lach: She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword