@osno13: i always carry a condom in my wallet incase i can't finish my corndog
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@GrowlyGrego: Apostrophes are important. "I fed the dog" "I f'ed the dog" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it.
@ThingsDrakeDo: A shopping mall. Drake walks past a man dressed as Santa, who yells out, "Ho! Ho! Ho!" "Yeah," Drake sighs as he keeps walking. "She was."
@iwearaonesie: my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast "they're eating dog food"