@JessicaVarsity: I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared.
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@peb671: Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can tweet that"
@Jenny4ashley: [gets pulled over for speeding] Where's the fire ma'am? *grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"
@FrenulumBreve: Teenage Jesus: Hey dad, why you wearing that crucifix? God: It's an idea I have for a public holiday. TJ: Huh? G: It's complicated.