@JessicaVarsity: I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared.
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@lawyerthoughts: If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness.
@julie2288: Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird... She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn't a stick of pee
@shkeeber: Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!