@E_lok44: I always carry a megaphone in my purse, in case I wander off and get lost at Costco.
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@jwoodham: DRAKE: I'll drop the best album of 2016. BEYONCÉ: Nah. DRAKE: The best album of... April? BEYONCÉ: Nah. DRAKE: Please don't do this to me.
@lilgapeach30: If my co-worker says ValenTIMES one more time, I'ma need one of you to make good on the "I'll help you hide a body" promise.
@fanofhell: For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
@Reverend_Scott: *calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly.