@iGreenMonk: I always carry a mushroom with me, just in case my enemy shows up & I need something to make me bigger.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@3sunzzz: I'm not one to bet, but I'd put $50 on the fact that the waffle was probably created when someone accidentally stepped on a pancake.
@trevso_electric: turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :(
@Parkerlawyer: Broke my make-up mirror this morning. I thought people would say 7 yrs of bad luck but mostly it's been, "Your eyeliner is really crooked."
@ItsAndyRyan: Interviewer: Tell me your convictions Me: Arson, 5 years. I burnt down my office Interviewer: I mean like 'firm beliefs' Me: Company loyalty