@briangaar: I always carry a pair of shades with me because you never know when you might see a dead body & say something cool
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@OBiiieeee: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
@DaddyJew: *6 opens piggy bank* Me: wtf where'd you get all that? 6: mommy said I could take $1 out of your wallet each day bc you'd never know
@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!