@WheelTod: I always carry a pocket knife, because I never know when I'll need to slice open a pocket.
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@Alyssa_Jolie: You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
@WhaJoTalkinBout: It's World Breastfeeding Week and, honestly, babies need to eat more often than that.
@kDuncanG: my accountant: look at ur currently monthly budget: · RENT: $800 · GAS: $200 · CHEEZ-ITS: $2,750 me: ur right, i need a cheaper place.
@WilliamAder: Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."