@WheelTod: I always carry a pocket knife, because I never know when I'll need to slice open a pocket.
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@Abid_ism: once someone was like "millennials don't answer a door if they aren't expecting anyone???" and i get why the 70s had so many serial killers
@Mr_Kapowski: Hi, I'm Zack. You might remember me from HR meetings such as, "We Don't Even Need to Watch the Security Tape to Know It Was You"
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I set a record for the rope climb in high school. 4-year-old: You climbed it the fastest? My wife: He cried the most.