@ClickBaite: I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. "I found these. Weird?"
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@Social_Mime: If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself.
@Twits_Giggles: It's amazing how patiently people will wait in line behind you when you're buying tampons.
@WritePlay: *robbing a bank with a chainsaw* Me: GIVE ME ALL Y- Teller: WHAT M: GIVE ME THE MONEY T: SIR YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT IN HERE M: WHAT
@nbadag: NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars? ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese