@shawnspree: I always carry a small bottle of Tabasco when I fly. You never know when you're going to crash in the Alps & have to live by eating people.
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@ArfMeasures: ME: Ugh hate summer when bees are flying everywhere BEE [angrily undoing seatbelt on plane] I'm gonna sting him BEE WIFE:Just leave it David
@vanderwangwe: The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
@3_livi: I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.
@Girl_Censored: A 13 yr old just told me I was cool for an old person. I almost slapped her then she said "you're like 23, right? I bought her ice cream.