@PimpleEye: I always carry cake, just in case someone pulls a knife on me.
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@caliluvgirl77: Grabs intercom: ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO JOIN MY MILITIA, STAY HERE! WE ARE GOING TO OCCUPY THIS OLIVE GARDEN UNTIL I GET MORE BREADSTICKS
@Home_Halfway: INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*
@onelongbender: Fun Fact: When the bartender asks if you want two or three fingers, he isn't always talking about the liquor.
@HeyHosey: Two animated gifs walked into a bar. Two animated gifs walked into a bar. Two animated gifs walked into a bar. Two animated gifs w[ESC]