@Andee_Stewart: I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing
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@JohnLyonTweets: "Disney movies promote false images of the friendliness of woodland creatures," I mutter after each rabies shot.
@BadJordon: [Arby's] BRO [jumping into car]: GO ME: it's lunch, not a bank heist B: they put EXTRA CURLY FRIES in the bag M: OMG I'm too pretty for jail
@Doyle_McLain: BREAKING NEWS ON FACEBOOK! Pam wants everyone to know what a great husband Don has been these last 8 years & for making her so very happy!