@Andee_Stewart: I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing
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@krissywillbretz: [Spelling bee] Dad Judge: your word is "arson" Contestant: can you use it in a sentence? Dad Judge: You're not arson, you're adopted.
@ConanOBrien: One time I wore my brother's t-shirt, and my dad asked if I was dressing up as his favorite child for Halloween.