@Stellacopter: I always cry at wedding ceremonies because I don't want to be there.
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@LoveYoorFate: When your coworker tells you they are getting a divorce a high five is not the right answer. Or so I've been told. Twice now.
@notacroc: DOCTOR: what were you thinking? He had a sword. ME: *bleeding everywhere, clutching my favorite pen* that's not how it's supposed to work