@LoveNLunchmeat: I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy.
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@garrydavenport: *weigh myself* Hmmmm... *weigh myself on different scales and am two pounds lighter* Ah these are more accurate...
@AndyAsAdjective: Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.