@LoveNLunchmeat: I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy.
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@1Happytwit: My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Why do I have to share a room? Me: It could be worse. Harry Potter slept in a cupboard under the stairs. 6: Yeah. By himself.
@Carbosly: No thanks, fantasy football. I already have a fantasy boyfriend, a fantasy sex life & a fantasy bank account. I'm good.