@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
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@onelongbender: My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.
@aveuaskew: Tell me I'm beautiful "You're beautiful" Tell me I'm a genius "You're a genius" Tell m- "Just give me the toilet paper, please"
@OfficeofSteve: If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart
@Amburglar_: Ugh don't you hate it when you accidentally leave the volume up on your phone & the next stall hears the *click* when you snapchat your turd