@moren1ke: i always feel slightly dishonest ticking the "i'm not a robot" box because how do i know, how does anyone know for certain
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@Book_Krazy: *Arrives at work 2 hrs late Boss: HR wants to see you about your behavior Me: Well, I literally just got here so it couldn't have been me
@olerunkbitch: Made a weird face in the mirror this morning and I looked like Ted Cruz. This is my suicide note.
@erikbransteen: Melania Trump doesn’t want to live in the same place as her husband. More than half of America feels the same way.