@OpieDokey: I always get a "Yes" from women, but it's usually followed by "That's him, officer."
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@ruinedpicnic: me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying
@Marlebean: When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say "oh, I thought she was already dead"
@frankzulla: "Ohhh, a knife! What are you gonna do, stab me or something?" - Guy about to get stabbed bad
@ArfMeasures: FRIEND: Wow you have bought A LOT of frozen food ME: I like to plan ahead FRIEND: But you haven't got a freezer ME: I'm a terrible planner