@OpieDokey: I always get a "Yes" from women, but it's usually followed by "That's him, officer."
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@shesxridiculous: If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic.
@lanyardtwerk: Caught my food taking a picture of me. When I confronted it, it said it was for its people blog? What a creep.
@Shock_Monster: If life had a 'CTRL + ALT + DEL' option, you bet your ass I'd be hitting that thing about 14 times a day.
@kumailn: The Devil has his own Bible. He's releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.