@TEXASVETERAN: I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices.
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@Phook75: They advertise unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. But I can personally attest that after 9 days Olive Garden asks you to leave.
@jenstatsky: A guy who wears a ring is always a dealbreaker. If it's on his ring finger, he's married. If it's not, he's a guy who wears rings.
@nerdreign: I worry that people who say "I'll sleep when I'm dead" may have missed a Science class or two.
@novicefather: *writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds "resume" to resume