@TEXASVETERAN: I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices.
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@notseriouslyamy: Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms
@UncleBob56: Nurse: What happened to your FINGERS? Me: You know those chefs who cut up vegetables real fast? N: Yes? M: I can't do that.
@sonictyrant: Me: can i get that last tub of frozen cow juice ? Sales assistant: oh ha ha, thats ben and jerry's Me: *Leans in and slides a 50 over the counter* i wont tell em if you dont