@ilovepie84: I always get "never shake a baby" and "cats always land on their feet" mixed up. Anyways I need a lawyer.
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@Parentpains: Some coworkers remind me of my ex, because I would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: I don’t care how cute you are, I will tear you to shreds if you don’t start cooperating. Wrapping paper: *rips*
@KevinFarzad: If you like someone and don't know if they like you, just sue them and then ask them under oath if they think you're cute.
@ThisLocalHater: [During sex] Me: I know you want me to be "naughty", but I can barely breathe in this Hamburglar costume.