@nigelgodwin: I always have a suicide note in my shower so that i wont look stupid if i ever slip and crack my head
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@RamblingMachine: A truck with the slogan "We always go the extra mile" took the last parking spot so I wrote on it "because we missed the exit" as a revenge.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: I can't get the taste of sour balls out of my mouth Friend: I love those candies Me: Candies?
@PaperWash: cashier: whoa 58 boxes of Mac and Cheese, having a party tonight? me: Cashier: me: Cashier: me: sure