@leontymccarthy: I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
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@weinerdog4life: All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign.
@kimlockhartga: I should get something accomplished, but the cat wants me to sit with him right now.
@ZombieProblms: My wedding vows said "till death do us part." My wife died, so I was a free man. Then she came back and bit me.
@ericsshadow: I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.