@leontymccarthy: I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: My walk of shame is spending 10 minutes trying to pronounce something at a Mexican restaurant before giving up and ordering tacos.
@DirtMcTurd: Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
@david8hughes: [hears baby crying in the next room] "It's ok, I'll go." [gets in car & goes to a motel]