@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball
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@mattmanic: How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?
@sarcasticmommy4: It's nice that friends keep picking up my kids for play dates. It'd be even nicer if they'd stop bringing them back home.
@juicymorsel: I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
@refinedrednec: Back up so I can take your picture. Further More. Keep going. A little bit more distance. Drop off the Earth. Perfect.