@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball
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@JRevard: My bf asked me to act like a "naughty school girl" for him so I forged a note from my mom saying I don't have to participate.
@AngelaEhh: This liquid diet crap is a scam. I've been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I'm still fat.
@timdonakowski: Damn girl, are you an old ATM touchscreen? 'Cause I'm pushing ALL the wrong buttons.