@kjmeow: I swear my toddler yells at me in Vietnamese

@KateWhineHall: Me: *gets on scale* 5yo: Whoa! That's a lot of points!

@megsaystweet: My Uber driver was telling me "stop apply lipstick!" and "start lipstick, Miss!" because of holes in the road... not all heroes wear capes

@ambamthankyamam: Apparently my hub is a 92 yr old trapped in a younger body. He just referred to you guys as my Pinstagram friends.

@SondraDeeMe: By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew.