@wickedsuga: I always keep a taser on me in case anyone asks if they can have one of my fries.
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@SteveKoehler22: Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples.
@kelkulus: For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.
@iwearaonesie: 9: I'm going to live with you guys forever me: I don't ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again