@wickedsuga: I always keep a taser on me in case anyone asks if they can have one of my fries.
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@TheRobCee: Dog The Bounty Hunter's greatest weakness is getting distracted when the fugitive throws a tennis ball.
@Parentpains: Some coworkers remind me of my ex, because I would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too.
@Donnie_Fairburn: [Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] "Hey" Hi "Can I ask you something?" Yup "Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"