@DecantAndPour: I always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge just in case anyone wants a black coffee.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@morninggloria: why is it ok for adults to dress in the jerseys of their team when they go to games but weird when i show up to the doctor dressed in scrubs
@rockymomax: [swimming] friend: shark! me: relax, you’re more likely to be killed by a bus than killed than by a shark shark: *driving out of control bus into the ocean* me: well I’ll be damned
@Juststopkate: Some days I feel like my life is going super well, & then I get my hair caught in my umbrella. And also my car door.
@HoneyWooWoo: Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.