@JermHimselfish: I always keep an old key and a map with random X's all over it in my pocket so that shortly after my death occurs a treasure hunt ensues.
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@PharmerRPh: Judge: "Reason for divorce?" Me: "Reconcilable differences." Judge: "Don't you mean irreconcilable?" Me: "Ugh. You sound just like her."
@SashaSavoy: And then whiskey said "tweet that, it's hilarious". But whiskey was wrong. So very wrong.