@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WheelTod: [To Police Sketch Artist] Me: “Black female... 5'3ish... Brunette... Curvy but not fat. Athletic, I guess... Good sense of humor... No kids — no divorcees either. Umm.. Must like dogs?...” Sketch Artist:... Me: “Why have you stopped drawing?”
@INDlAN_: Cop: Lemme see your papers Me: Okay Cop: These are rolling papers Me: Would you look at that Cop: Sir are you high? Me: What are you, a cop?