@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.
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@samalmightysam: God was able to create everything in only 6 days cause he didn't have a woman next to him telling him what color she wanted everything to be
@BadassBarbie11: Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
@aparnapkin: Have you ever heard someone honking so aggressively & for so long that you're like "this was never about the traffic, was it, buddy?"
@chopper4jk: I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats.