@koalaslament: I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: [speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT
@ItsAndyRyan: *Child putting on clothes very slowly while singing* Me: You really need to hurry up – we're going to be late. *Child starts singing faster*
@TheAlexP: * wishes on shooting star " the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again"
@Dawn_M_: I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular.