@koalaslament: I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right
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@chelliet22: Two days ago: omg, I'm so glad I found my watch, I'll never misplace it again! Today: *has zero clue where the hell my watch is*
@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.
@loudmouth_usa: Him: Going to Taco Bell, want anything? Me: I'm just thirsty Him: What do you want? Me: Six tacos and a burrito