@68Cly29: I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane
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@simoncholland: You think you have a pretty strong marriage until you try to help your 5th grader with her math homework together.
@david8hughes: Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on
@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"
@smickable: My mom is having a hysterectomy. This is like the time I moved away to college and she tore down my childhood bedroom.