@68Cly29: I always look for the best looking cashier at the supermarket and always end up at the self checkout lane
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@living_marble: "Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!" "Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?" "ARISE!"
@Rachelnoise: 15: MOM, WHERE'S MY NIRVANA SHIRT?! Me: Name THREE songs & I'll help you look for it. 15: ...
@joshgondelman: Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say "You haven't seen The Wire?" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying.