@WilliamAder: I always say "goodbye" to the Wal-Mart greeter, just to close that loop.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBoydP: Marriage tip: If your wife says “I didn’t do it” what she means is “You did it”. Accept it and don’t worry that you don't remember doing it.
@chrissyteigen: "Whose funeral was this photo taken at?" John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said
@hiitsgabrielle: Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout.