@GreeneyedManiac: I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people.
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@Marlebean: I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed.
@ElKnuckelhombre: Everybody's talking about the super obnoxious drunk guy at the bar last night. I was at that same bar and I didn't even notice him. Weird.
@nachosarah: hey guys maybe girls are so cold all the time because you make us shave off all our hair