@GreeneyedManiac: I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people.
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@buhsbaby_baby: Autocorrect just changed "carnie" to "catnip" and now all my friends think I slept with a bunch of catnips last night.
@Cheeseboy22: "It's cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I'm so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don't have to go to Facebook today. You're welcome.
@DomBorrett: Christmas is becoming more and more commercialised every year. Pushing up prices in every sector This tweet is brought to you by Tesco
@SummerCandyEyes: I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat.