@rgay: I always say thank you to Alexa so that when the machines take over they know I am nice.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@thrillhicks: I’ll smash someone’s car window on a hot day if I see they’ve left a chocolate bar melting inside.
@In_Twittaland: No YOU tried to pet the albino skunk that wandered up from the woods. Related: Never go outside w/out contacts and YES I need a shower.
@AmericanGent69: If my name was Simon I would always talk in the third person when telling someone to do something.
@Blarebare: Start a slow-clap in a quiet, crowded room. The first person that joins you, marry them. They're your soulmate.