@AdamTheLobster: I always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. I bet they could afford a house if they werent drinking money all the time.
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@TeaAndCopy: [Knock at door] MAN: Hello I'm here to talk about Jesus Christ!! Sorry, a spider landed on me. I'm here to talk about bondage ME: Do come in
@DrDogMD: [During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!