@kelkulus: I always sleep naked. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses.
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@emptydahl: Sometimes I wonder about those old mattresses in the alleys, the stories they could tell. The ones about me are lies of course.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...
@ch000ch: it's cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like "just as i suspected guys. it's shit."
@OctopusCaveman: [Starbucks] Me: I'll have a grande vanilla latte. Barista: Soy milk? Me: Hola Milk. Una gran latte de vainilla por favor.