@kelkulus: I always sleep naked. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses.
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@mommy_cusses: Motherhood is when your child looks like a sparkling cherub and you look like a steaming pile of nope.
@WilliamAder: If you get a present from me with scissors and a roll of tape trapped under the wrapping paper, I'm gonna need those back.
@Playing_Dad: [Ice Cream Truck] John Cena: I'll take an Icee, please. Ice Cream Truck Driver: Icee? You? Cena: *grabs driver's shirt* No, you can't.
@Scarlet_Rose67: Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect.