@imence2: I always take my kids on vacation during drug awareness week...because there's just some things they should learn from their dad.
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@ShittyComedian: I was having sex with this woman for 10 minutes before I realized it was a man, and then for like 20 minutes after.
@Marlebean: It's a bit unnerving when "make chloroform" & "make friends" are the top suggestions as I type "how to" in the search engine...
@LlamaInaTux: (Invention of the necktie) I can't figure out how to tie this silk noose. Looks like I'll have to go to the dinner party after all.
@causticbob: I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.