@CheryeDavis: I always take the high road, because the colors are more psychedelic and sometimes you see a unicorn.
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@dshack8: "I know she told me to buy Tampax, but I'll buy the store brand that's on sale instead." The last thoughts of a man who's about to die.
@VerifiedDrunk: I set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast because I enjoy doing math problems first thing in the morning,