@QwertyJones3: I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DaddysinCharge: Every time we take our dog to obedience school I can't help but think about everything that we did wrong when we were training our kids.
@XGroverX: "I'm so hungry, I could eat a human baby." Everyone in Whole Foods stares at me stunned "Corn-fed organic of course, I'm not a monster."
@infamousone96: Boss: "You're not suppose to be drinking on the job!" Me: "You're not suppose to cheat on your wife." Boss: "Keep up the good work sir."
@weinerdog4life: Me: nice car Friend: yeah 400 horsepower Me: that's like 7000 ducks Friend: what Me: what