@joshandbeyond: I always try to hold the door open for women I see walk by, so we can talk and get to know each other. But none of them will get in my car.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Me: How are you? Coworker: I can't complain. Me: *sticks finger in his coffee* Coworker: I just paid for that! Me: I knew you were lying.
@FatherWithTwins: My wife gave me her Christmas list. I said, "isn't my undying love & affection enough?" We laughed and laughed. Now I'm at the purse store