@joshandbeyond: I always try to hold the door open for women I see walk by, so we can talk and get to know each other. But none of them will get in my car.
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@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.
@bourgeoisalien: Not to brag, but I have one of those metabolisms that I can eat anything I want and still get fat
@WildeThingy: [re-enacting the lift scene from Dirty Dancing] "come to me baby, and jump, and oops... You landed in my mouth again! You silly gummy bear."
@AmishPornStar1: Woah!!! You're a much fatter family than the stick figures on your rear window would indicate!