@MichaelLarrick: I always try to put some condom wrappers in my garbage so the raccoons that go through my trash think I'm cool.
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@1Happytwit: I know I have 19 items in the 15 items or less isle, but I'm pretty sure the tampons, painkillers, cheesecake and tequila count as one item.
@philyuck: The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car
@david8hughes: [leans over to kid watching Planet of the Apes in the theatre] Call them monkeys one more time & see what happens.