@knot_eye: I always use a short cut when I'm going to knife fight a midget.
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@moose_chocolate: Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else.
@Awesome_Todd: Never run with scissors. Unless... • You stole them • You're running a 400 meter scissor relay • You're being chased by giant paper dolls
@prufrockluvsong: Welcome to IKEA. I see you need a new Fyrkantig for your Dagstorp. Me:How do you pronounce that? *sound of corduroy pants rubbing together