@knot_eye: I always use a short cut when I'm going to knife fight a midget.
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@TheMichaelRock: I have been reporting moms on Facebook who brag about how perfect their lives are as fake news.
@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@DukEB51: My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.