@CheryeDavis: I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: how do you stop yourself from falling all the way to China? GHOST: I can’t do this anymore. I’m going to haunt a different house.
@jordan_stratton: All of our friends were having babies, so my wife and I decided we might as well go ahead and get new friends.
@jimmytorosian: Good cop: We know it was you. Just confess. Murderer: I didn't do nothin' Breaks the fourth wall cop: Your name in this tweet is Murderer.