@CheryeDavis: I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward.
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@weinerdog4life: Side Effects May Include: upset stomach, diarrhea, a tail, some hooves, ok so you might turn into a horse
@Marlebean: I'm tired of all this mother effing playdough on the mother effing floor. -Samuel L Jackson, babysitting my kids
@MichaelaOkla: Sure you can call me lazy but do you know how many days I HAVE gotten out of bed? Thousands
@DaddyJew: TSA: do you have anything to declare? Me: *grabs the agent by the hand* I declare a thumb war